This is a preserved space for funny stuff that needs to be stored or hidden or at least not get gev too much daylight

4/8/2024 Self destructor is a blog that may vanish at any time likely to have been written with a flame thrower and when the gas goes out the self destructor will go out like the olympic flame in Paris ... First time in fifteen years on canals this has happened and it took me nearly two hours to get rid of the shyte but the smell may take days or weeks. 


Parked up at Bridge 51 with my doormat out to wipe my shoes before going on board.  I had been coming and going all day with a major electrical project and using different footwear depending on whether the going was wet or dry.  I came back to the boat this time in hush puppies, stepped on board and went down the hatch ... suddenly noticing there was something unpleasant on the deckboards which smelt like dogshyte.  I went ashore at once and discovered the remains of a very large turd on the doormat. I had neither noticed nor expected it but had collected most of it on the sandal and now there was dogshite all over the deckboards, down the hatch and on the cabin floor which thankfully is wooden. The hushpuppies have a noticable thread and the shyte was embedded into the sole pattern.

Fukk you. You fat bitch wot owns
the dog I suspect done it. 
And fukk your fleabag mutt. 
I hope he gets the mange
and passes it on to you
you entitled oul bag
with your entitled
70 foot  horsebarge
and a face on you
like a plateful
of mortal sins. 

Once I decided to buy a canal boat to live on, I needed parameters which led to research and a "wish list" which was drawn up in 2008    This list was continuously expanded, contracted and amended until I actually bought the boat and from that date the list became post-purchase development and there has been an ongoing "to-do-list since then.  I decided early on that the ideal boat should be a steel narrow boat not more than 36' long, with an air-cooled diesel engine and a 'cruiser' deck.  It should have a double bed, as far as possible from the engine,  light and airy cabins but with the bedroom capable of being darkened out.  It should have solid fuel heating and a composting toilet.  The galley would be well-appointed so I could cook easily off grid and solo.  The boat should have a large water tank and lots of storage.  (2012-08-24 09.06.01)  It should have crew bunking for Summer Visitors or Winter Warmers.  I planned to live totally off-grid winter or summer rain hail or shine any time I chose without having to rely on anything or anybody.  I would live in a floating man-cave, relying on my own resources so I needed to trust my boat.   

It would have to be 'fit for purpose'.
THE LIST is deeply nested in the HOME section beneath "concept v reality" and "arrival in england"
PATIENCE IS A MORRIS MINOR  is nested under "Samuel John Springer"
HAMPSHIRE This is   now a series of articles in the main under the general heading of "Hot and Cold"
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Blog for 16January 2019 posted at 8:25 AM EST at  Fore Street Library. Edmonton Angel

I must be slipping!  Six whole months and ne'er a blog.  The last one got rote in Islington and since then me'n'me boat have passed through many London villages without notice or record.  During the last three months Pentargon wandered to and fro in central London trying to figure whether to go up to Watford or Hertford.  For a new boat battery and maybe a bigger solar panel.  Time spent in British Library too and of course Pancras Library for internet. 

I got a life changing book out ... "Swallow This" ... Serving up the Food Industry's Darkest Secrets ... by Joanna Blythman, ... 4thEstate ...  ISBN 9 780007 548354 ... It was such a good, I read and re-read it before the library bell chimed. Then I had Waterstones get me one for myself.  (I also discovered Guy Martin "We Need To Weaken The Mixture" and "When Yo dead Yo Dead".) ... Genius ... I love libraries

I made a mid December decision to get a six-month "Lea Licence" for my canalboat, go up-river before the end of January, park awhile under a bridge, skive off to Iceland with Diane and pay respects to my late mother-in law's memory.  I dropped onto the Lea from Ducketts as BrexitY2 whimpered to a stall.  UK is rudderless, clueless, leaderless, overfed.  The people are punched out with political gob-shite-hawkery, rising recession, every drug you can think of and others you never even thought of.  I am working my way slowly up-river having replenished my charcoal supply.

Hackney Wick through Tottenham is hipsterland ashore and a resolute mix of hipsters off-gridding on the water.  Solid shite.  There be dragons.  Mostly stoned.  Sometimes biked.  Frequently lycrad boatless braindead.  Two rowing clubs one for the toffs.  A lot of black and white religion with ringlets. Dog walkers, cat walkers, ferret walkers and Walkers crisp-bags.  All of them five a day.  But you gotta get through it to reach the magic land beyond Waltham and the M25.  I eventually pitched a new village fornenst Cobbs Ferry and almost under the North Circular Road.  Just far enough away from the constant traffic and the floating riff-raff.  Conveniently, I got tagged by the boat-counter almost as soon as I tied up.  He had started earlier at Stonebridge but just after I had left it at 8oc.  Granda says "Boat should sit in water. Water should not sit in boat."

Suits me well to be tagged, as I now know the boat is recorded and when and where.  I'm good for 'fourteen' days.  My next port of call will be Ponders End where I have an arrangement which keeps my bilge from filling with water Granda says "Boat should sit in water. Water should not sit in boat."and I can fill my storage tank with fresh water and go away to Iceland the country without any worries.  But that's future.  Today is now.  It's only 9oc and I need to check bus stops, timetables and where the nearest pint of milk can be procured.  It's not too bad by the North Circular.  Buses 444 and 34 stop 150metres away and both run [west] to Edmonton Angel.  There be a branch of my bank, a lovely little library, some handy shops  ... a handy butcher too who does affordable meat.  Cobbs ferry will be fine.  I can start Spring-cleaning tomorrow and continue with a major internal fabrication, to quadruple accessible storage and provide summer bunks for visitors. [PHOTO] There will be major de-wintering of the boat here over the next fortnight as I try to declutter and get her ship-shapen and guest-friendly ...

Wed16thJan.2019.
Edmonton Angel is one of those cash-poor but bargain-rich outer suburbs I can cope with.  Real shops for real people.  Two vegetable stalls with real farm produce at farm prices.  Charlie and Johnny are part of the archecture.  I even got an AEG drill like my onboard one, with a goodish battery and a charger in Cash Converter, who charged it up to ensure it worked, before I paid money.  It is almost 11oc. The Library does not open til 1oc on a Wed.  Sods law being Sods law yesterday was Tuesday.  So I take a sling towards town on the bus just to have a warm place to read.  Yes!  It is Joanna Blythman's "Swallow This". Once, the only fat people were the rich.  Now, the only fat people are the poor, fatted by shite food ... Back in the library 1.15pm to while away an hour before picking up my charged drill and 400g Neck of Lamb for £2.30.  £1.20 for two onions, a swede, a parsnip, two carrots, two spuds from Johnny's stall.  Eggs and fruit from Charlie.  I decided to move down towards Stonebridge at 3oc.  Just as well I had the yellow jacket on.  It BUCKETED down about half way and stayed at it for another hour while I tied up, dried up, prepared my lamb stew and got it going. 

Since I know you are gagging to know about a boatstew:
200g neck is £1.15, one onion, half the swede, half the  parsnip, a carrot, a peeled spud, some chutney and a spoon of mustard all chopped up and done in the pressure cooker, makes breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper for a whole day at £1.75 all in.  The following day takes two days food up to £3.50 and a fish and chip supper runs to £6.50 in Angel Edmonton.  16.30 I left £1.75 to mature in the haybox and went for the 476 to Kings Cross. 

Today is a one-meal day.  Yes!  It took a ten-minute brisk walk from the boat, a huge stairs and a further walk to 476 terminus at Northumberland Road Station, almost ten minutes waiting for the wanker to get the bus going at 16.50, almost two hours in traffic and a ten minute walk at the Pancras end to get into the library . 19.01 ... at Pancras Library ... but I needed to return their "Swallow This" which I have now read three times. 

Did I tell you about it?  (Great Book!  Look up my Good Reads account)  I got an hour in on the Camden computer.  til 19.50.  Then traipsed back to the boat for a rather late dinner in a warm boat.  I was in bed light-outed by 10pm.

I spent the first six months working my way rather slowly up the river.   Mid-May I'd got as far as Waltham Abbey, to one of my favourite moorings. The ME/CFS was being a bit tedious.  Later, I had an unfortunate shunt in a Go-Kart which took me out of service for a whole month, at a time when the land house was in a shambles and my room unusable.  Best forgotten.  Towards the end of June, I could still hardly walk but had to present Pentargon at Lee Valley Marina to be craned out for three months and a new village established but this time on land.  Til the end of Sept. when I could buy a 12mt licence from Oct1.

LET US MOVE ON TO THE OTHER END OF BREXIT Y3

Fri1stNov.2019 ... Stone Frigate ...
Home from the sea, well from Stonebridge where boat is holed up for the interim.  Changes in my village.  On the water, it's end to end from the lock along the length of towpath in either direction.  The paid moorings are full and boat movements are almost continual.  The facilities include a scabby shower, a shitty shithole, certain waste disposal facilities and a gated toilet ...   Ron Gooding has a boat servicing post adjacent and is not short of work ... Northumberland Park station has been completely rebuilt and now has a dedicated line from Meridian Water to Stratford.  Ten minute brisk walk now can put me on a train for home as early as 6.16am. The oyster card is before 6.30 for a continuous run so I can get C2C home to my village station for £2.50

I'll keep this entry to talk about Lee Valley.