Hide and Seek 2

HOW IT ALL BEGAN

I first saw Pentargon in September 2011.

It had taken a while to get to where I was at that time, many miles, many detours, many viewings, each an eventual time-waster.
I'd been told that if YOU have the patience to keep looking YOUR dream will find YOU

Pentargon had bided her time while I had pursued my quest, waiting patiently until I was just about ready to give up searching.

My patience tank was running on the fumes as I left the latest 'offering' somewhere in Buckinghamshire. Or was it Bedfordshire? Or maybe Cheshire? My note-scrawl said

"Pentargon. Marina. Weedon. Beside M1"

Deciding there was nothing to lose, I skated up the A5 til fornenst the Watford Gap and drove through a field of rapeseed behind which hid a 'marina'. It was nearing the end of August and it was nearing the end of my patience.  I'd been to one marina too many and had viewed more than one crappy canal boat too many. Online pictures for Pentargon were not appealing. The associated sales pitch was not appealing. The price was somewhat over my depth.

(slide show here from original brochure)

But Pentargon's spirit nudged me to at least look. You really can't beat a real-time look. That's where the internet fails me

I want to feel the width

I want to macerate in the material. I want to smell the coffee rather than look at a picture of the rising steam and marvel at the photogenic qualities of the cup it's in.

When I want something I will not be side-tracked by a deceitful web trying to sell me tat I patently neither need nor want.

I am inured to a churning algorithm.

I am the Origin of my Species:

The Off-grid Floating Caveman.

Gaia my god. Nature is my teacher.

I am searching for my man-cave.

Something about Pentargon was "right". She ticked all my wish list boxes and my every instinct screamed "This is the one"

NEW PAGE AND WORK IN PROGRESS

How to buy a boat

To actually purchase a boat you CAN use the Appalling Duck via The Internet or Canalside Chinese Whispers and of course you can throw all caution to the winds and buy on the Spur of the Moment.
Always be wary of a rough paint job on an even rougher hull and be VERY wasry of what looks like a fantastic bargain.

Thus can you pay serious bread-loaves
for what you can see over the water line
and for what you can not see under it.

You can buy a currently floating water sieve
and a developing money-sieve
into which to pour
all your present savings
and your future hard-earned
and buy a total junker.

You can try any of the above and every one of them has been tried by someone and many good boats have changed hands and many happy boaters are nomadic, dibs in and ordering coal and diesel for the winter.

But throw in a Full Survey and with any luck get a nice boat. Surveys cost! Alternatively to all the above schemes you can deal through a broker.

I had no option with my acquisition.

Pentargon was with a broker

If you want to acquire something a broker is offering, you can't just call in a surveyor to give it a going-over as you would with a house or a car or a painting or by using any of the earlier routes.

Buying a boat is done on the same contract as you would use to purchase the Britannia (or the Titanic now I come to think of it).

Brokers can be tedious; mine was a classic.
I found out later he had sold insurance and had only fallen into this line of business by marrying the boss's daughter. Insurance is a great place to learn how to read small print without seeing the bigger picture.

I took the broker completely off guard
by pointing at the boat and asking:-
"How much?"
He told me how much he wanted;
I asked him what he would accept
He told me to make an offer
... under contract! ...

with no back out clause!

Having a drive was out of the question.
Even starting the engine was a no-no.
You only get to drive a boat you might want to buy from a broker if you're very lucky.
May I point out that in a brokerage, every boat is owned by a private individual and the broker is a custodian but responsible for the security of every boat under his charge. Someone who has an insurance background may be good at minding boats but not necessarily at selling them.  To even look inside the boat, I had to prise the key from his clenched teeth and walk unaided to it. But, having looked at her lines and including a quick look round inside, things looked promising.  She matched every single item on my "Wish List".  But if I were to sign a contract, I would need to, de jure, commit to purchase without prior sea-trials
A "full' survey would cost around £500 plus the dreaded VAT (£120) and first I would have to pay to have the boat hauled out.

Looking at a Springer

Looking at a SPRINGER, as I was, the broker told me he would need an 'excess' on the basis that he would have use extra gear.

"because it has not got a flat bottom and you will need to hire our special cradle".

Hauling would be £400 (VAT included) and the survey total would ascend to £1000+

This "excess" is a total load of horse-bollox but you don't know that so you pay up. 36ft Springers have a very shallow angle and can be treated as flat-bottomed.   How could you have known? You had come in from the sea and had been told that ALL canal boats have flat bottoms and not yet studied the theory and practice of Sam's
Springers.
TWO hyper-links here!

Press the back button to return!

You can only have a boat surveyed at a
brokerage after you've made an offer in
writing on a legally watertight contract
subsequently accepted by the seller.

Sounds daft, but that is how the system works. Also, you must lay down a 10% deposit and commit to purchase before a surveyor is allowed near the boat.

This is a good time to underline that a particular broker may have "a mutual arrangement' with a particular surveyor.  I know of at least one marina where, if you want a surveyor who has no 'agreement' in place, they require the survey to be done out in the cut, but in clear view!

Fat chance of getting at the only part which matters. The wetted hull. Watch yourselves

There are some right sharks in and around the soup. There is some VERY interesting small print in a "legally watertight contract"
like:-
if a survey shows up defects which can be 'fixed' within a contracted budget, fixing is done by the SELLER or his "AGENT" but at the BUYER'S expense. No prizes for guessing who the "agent" is?

The broker now has you over a shiny barrel He brings in a few apes, pays them a few peanuts to get some monkey work done, sweeps up the margins, and the surveyor may even be in on it!

Muggins pays wads ON TOP of the price, for a boat which enters muggins life ropey

This was NOT applicable to my purchase but appears to be what had happened to Pentargon when a previous owner purchased it ... Buyers come in all shapes, sizes and skills, sometimes (but rarely) with experience in sheet metal fabrication, plumbing, carpentry, engines, gearboxes, sign-writing, galvanic corrosion and the price of a short length of string.
SMALL PRINT
If a boat should fail a marine survey under the terms of a legally binding marine contract (because the faults cannot be put right for x% of the agreed price) the 'buyer' can walk away. But all you get back is your deposit.  You should be prepared to 'lose' up to £1000 (for survey, slipping and slippage) and have nothing to show for it at the end of the day apart from a gaping hole in your wallet about the same size as a nice holiday for two in Madeira

Interesting side issue to a failed survey

Sometimes, in doing the test, the surveyor might knock a hole through the hull under the water-line with his little hammer. Under these circumstances, the boat is instantly failed by the surveyor and the broker is notified. The boat cannot be put back in the water until "repaired".

As of that moment, it is both unsailable and unsaleable because the hole so hammered might cause it to sink in the water.

This clause matters with the Titanic, which went down in 11,000' of water but it also applies to canal boats which might not have two inches of free water under them

The broker is now under notice, by the actual survey and marine law, that the boat is unsafe and he has to henceforth declare this fact. Before that he could (and would) stay mum and be legally entitled to.

This little is gem is entered for readers who might be SELLING a boat which gets surveyed.   This law applies only under brokerage where participants are deemed to be qualified bull-shitters capable of delivering expert opinions and NOT to unqualified owners

QUALIFIED BULLSHITTERS

There is quite a difference between unqualified boaters and qualified bullshitters. The difference is even greater than the difference between boaters and boatmen. A private owner is not 'qualified' because he can not show certificates therefore [s]he is not LEGALLY ABLE to KNOW a boat is dangerous ... even if he is told it is by a qualified bullshitter or by a marine surveyor, the majority of whom are highly qualified, competent, skilled and experienced and even more like to be thus if their hair is grey. Watch out for BSS examiners who may be certified for BSS but may NOT be qualified and certified surveyors. If I were buying a boat described as 'BSS certified' I would want to know WHO did the survey in case it was a qualified bullshitter

Meanwhile back at the survey. If the survey is not quite 100%, maybe a weak spot in the hull or some dodgy problem which could fall under a definition of 'boat not fit for purchase' but which can be be fixed for [up to] say 5% of the agreed purchase price (on a £20,000 punt that would be £1000!) you the purchaser is obliged by contract to ask/demand that the seller fix it, but at the purchaser's expense, after which the surveyor rubber-stamps the fix and certifies the boat as "fit for purchase".

See notes on connivance of interested parties. Be assured the seller is [almost] never party to these shenanigans.

The purchaser is obliged to go through with a contracted purchase without any legal or financial recourse. I can guarantee from observation, research and talking to unqualified boaters who got burned thusly, you'll have bought a pup, a dog, and a-pig-in-a-poke all in one transaction. "Think Fast Buy Slow".

Once the boat is yours and the cheque cleared, so are ALL the inherited problems. It is entirely justifiable and eminently sensible to make haste slowly.

The 'normal' or usual way a marine surveyor proceeds is to go over the boat in the water "as seen". His "brief" is to find anything and everything affecting its 'fit for purpose' status which his client - YOU - could use to pull the price down!

Once the inside is done and the engine is tested at the moorings, the surveyor gets the yard to haul the boat out (at your expense!) so he can check the "wetted hull" provided of course that he is not on the yard's black list.

Canny purchasers might be able to use this haul-out IF THE BOAT PASSES SURVEY to steam-clean or pressure-wash the bottom, check or even replace anodes, examine blacking OR PAY THE YARD TO DO IT, thus securing maybe four years of happy boating before the boat it has to be hauled out again.

Be aware however that at law you are messing with someone else's boat and the charges come out of your pocket

Most surveyors are separately BSS certified and will [usually] include a Safety Certificate within the cost of a full survey if this is helpful or applicable. In Pentargon's case her BSC was due to run out in April 2012 so a bonus would come with the survey (provided it passed). The survey was in mid January but the BSC could be forwarded to it's expiry date. In the event it did not apply.

Pentargon's survey was eventually signed off in May after she'd been bottomed. The very best surveyors charge higher rates but you get a better product.

Buying a boat from a broker is outside credit card territory. Broker Marinas have separate accounts for sales, moorings, repairs, and fettlin 'n' fuellin'.

Your hard-earned may have to be moved to a current account to pay the balance by Cheque. Provided of course your potential purchase has passed it's survey. To reduce pissin about, you might consider getting a banker's draft: it might speed things up? ... Or not? ...

... Pentargon FAILED on the 4mm rule ...

As of that moment, it was [legally] ... junk